This month marks 30 years of life for me. It may not be a lot to some, but to my 2 children it’s a significant amount of time. And to me… It’s bittersweet. I’m excited to begin another 30 years, and hopefully, with less dramatics and more great memories. But I can honestly say, in 30 years; 10 of which I spent with my husband and being a mother, I have learned a lot. So in honor of not only my 30th birthday but 10 years of personal adult family life, Here are my top 10 most cherished, and/or valuable things I have learned in 30 years.
10. Never cook with wine you won’t drink! Obviously, this goes with out saying if you actually can’t drink it all. But for those of you that enjoy using wine in your cooking, if you won’t drink it. don’t put it in your food. It still tastes horrible even when you cook with it and now you wasted food on top of it. So that not so great tasting $8.00 bottle of wine has now become a $20-$50 bottle of wine. 🙁
9. Use Peanut oil for frying. Peanut oil can handle higher temperatures than any other oil. So give in, spend a little extra and use the good stuff.
8. Never use margarine, for ANYTHING. The taste is odd, and cooks like oil. So when you go to make an amazing sauce with your white wine and margarine for your fish, it’s going to mix like wine and oil. Instead, when you use butter, the dairy solids, mix together and create this amazing flavor and texture. Margarine can not imitate that, period.
7. Believing in God unconditionally has made me a more humble & appreciative person. I am not telling any of you to go out and convert. I am saying that for me, God has been a huge outlet to my sorrows, my pains, and ultimately making me a stronger person. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4:13) This quote is the one I turn to every time life has gotten hard or I felt that I could not take anymore. It’s a great reminder to me that in all my struggles, I can take more, as long as I have the Lord by my side.
6. Voting is not only my civic duty but my right. Being an American woman brings me so many great things, that I have only began to realize. I have always had a passion about voting, but only recently, have I realized the true and great importance I have as an American. My right to vote is a great honor that past Americans fought for. As I have gotten older, I have realized all elections are important and voting needs to be done.
5. Being mom is imperfection at it’s finest moment. As a mom I make mistakes daily and regularly. There is no manual on how to raise great kids. Every day I try to do the best I can to raise responsible, kind, smart and giving people that will grow on this Earth. I have come to the conclusion that all I can do is raise my kids well. It’s up to them to do the rest. All I can do is show and help them to do right and cross my fingers that it clicks, so far so good. I’m human, I’m imperfect, so to expect my kids to live up to extremely high standards without any thought for them is wrong. If my kids can grow to live an intentional good life with positivity, kindness, hard work and respect, then I feel I did my job well.
4. Spend less time judging and more time enjoying. So many times as young woman, I have wasted countless amounts of energy judging others for what I feel is wrong (not very Christian like I know). But all I learned from it was how to be bitter and complaintive. No wonder Jesus teaches us not to judge others. It’s exhausting and nothing good comes from it. I really try now, to stop myself and think about something enjoyable in my life. It may be self centered, but better I think about all the good I have going on than wasting time worrying about what I think someone else is or isn’t as a person. I’m not perfect myself, who I am to judge them?
3. Happiness is created by you, not others. My mother use to say “Do whatever you think is right.” Never did I ever hear do what I thought made me happy. She always taught me that happiness comes from me. I am the creator of my own happiness. Not things or people. Doing right, inevitably made me happy, but I never did things in the hopes of happiness coming from it. I learned in my own experience and especially after having kids, that self satisfaction from working hard and doing my best was the core to my happiness. I don’t help with an expectation of even a thank you, they are nice to get of course. I help because it is right to do. And at the end of the day, I really do feel better about the day knowing I helped.
2. Marriage is 100% from both sides. Not 50/50. That means you take all of you and put it into your marriage, period. And that doesn’t mean only if your spouse does. That means you put your heart and sole into your marriage. your spouse also needs to think the same way and do the same thing, but that is for them to know & do. You can only control you. And that is huge.
1. I am me and that’s amazing. I grew up being the tallest girl most of my childhood. I have almost always been the skinniest of my friends. I am half Chinese, half Irish. So needless to say, being made fun of has become par for the course. But after countless failures in ignoring the comments and worry about everyone else, I have come to this final conclusion about myself. I am not perfect, and that’s what makes me amazing. I am unique, an individual, no one will ever be me. I can never be shorter, no more than I can help my high metabolism (which I assume will slow down now). I can’t change my Ancestry (nor would I really want to). The only thing I can change is my view of myself. and my view right now of my self is that I am me and that’s all I could ever ask for.
So here’s to the next 30 years! Let’s see where it takes me…